Pride of Lions
and the newspaper said, ‘We are proud to be Scottish, but
we must ask the difficult questions.’
and the Laird said, ‘This family’s proud to be Scottish, but
but what about our right of succession?’
and the Rangers fan said, ‘We’re all proud to be Scottish, but
if you hate Alex Salmond clap your hands!’ (clap clap)
and the Archbishop said, ‘I am proud to be Scottish, but
do what the Catholic Church demands.’
and the Tories said, ‘We are proud to be Scottish, but
our Great British Empire would be lost.’
and Labour said, ‘We are proud to be Scottish, but
the SNP must be beaten at all costs.’
and the Lib Dems said, ‘We are proud to be Scottish, but
we agree! We probably agree!’
and a socialist said, ‘I am proud to be Scottish, but
we can’t abandon England to the elites.’
and the intellectual said, ‘I’m not proud to be Scottish.
Beneath every nationalism it is dark.’
and the soldier said, ‘I am proud to be Scottish, but
I would die for the Union Jack.’
and the young woman said, ‘I am proud to be Scottish, but
I loved the London Olympics.’
and the old man said, ‘I am proud to be Scottish, but
I’m tired, and it’s too optimistic.’
and the young man said, ‘Aye, I’m proud to be Scottish, but
whaur’s the money gonnay come fay? Eh?’
as an old woman, in silence, shuffled to the booth
in the hope of a better country.
Alan Bissett
Author, Performer and Playwright
alanbissett.com
—
Photograph by Peter McNally
